5 Tips for Easier Networking

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Most lawyers struggle with networking events, not because they lack social skills, but because common psychological barriers get in the way.

For example, have you ever experienced the Spotlight Effect, where you feel that everyone is watching and judging you? (If so, you probably respond to this “spotlight” by either finding it difficult to start conversations or you over-compensate by talking way too much.)

In any event, as these barriers interfere with our ability to develop and nurture valuable relationships, it’s important to devise strategies for overcoming them. In this article, you will discover 5 tips to help you with the following:

  • Overcoming the Spotlight Effect

  • Moving from Self-Promotion to Value-Exchanges

  • Starting Conversations

  • Exiting Conversations

  • Setting Realistic Expectations

Tip 1: Overcoming the Spotlight Effect

When we walk into those networking events, the Spotlight Effect is going to make it feel like people are really paying attention to you. This makes most of us extremely nervous and awkward.

But, the fix is simple. Just remember that everyone else is experiencing their own spotlights. In other words, most people are too busy thinking about themselves to scrutinize you. Instead of worrying about how you look or sound, focus on listening—this naturally shifts attention away from yourself and makes you a better conversationalist. As an added bonus, when you patiently listen to potential clients, you also make them more comfortable in their own imaginary spotlights.

Tip 2: Moving from Self-Promotion to Value-Exchanges

Sadly, many lawyers feel compelled to make networking all about themselves by engaging in uncomfortable acts of self-promotion. If you find yourself falling into this trap, just think about the times when you’ve networked with other service providers and they engaged in shameless self-promotion. (It probably felt really uncomfortable and kind of pathetic.)

You can easily avoid this bad habit by thinking of each networking conversation as an exploration into uncovering benefits. Just ask yourself, “How can I help this person?” If you can offer them insights or help them with connections, you can both build goodwill and greatly increase the chances that they’ll help you in return.

Tip 3: Starting Conversations with Ease

If you feel uncomfortable starting conversations, just remember that other networking participants are also feeling uncomfortable due to the Spotlight Effect. (That’s why we always have alcohol at these events.) It’s a lot easier to start conversations if you realize that pretty much any question is going to make most people feel a little more comfortable in their “spotlights”.

Seriously, you don’t have to come up with anything brilliant; you just need a question that’s going to give them an easy start to the conversation. For example, you can’t go wrong by asking questions like: “What brought you to this event?” or “What’s keeping you busy these days?”

Tip 4: Gracefully Exiting a Conversation

We all experience those awkward conversation moments where we need to escape - either because we see another conversation opportunity opening up or our current conversation partner is putting us to sleep with their boring stories.

If you need to escape a discussion, you can politely wrap it up by summarizing a key point and moving on: “It was great hearing about your work—hope you enjoy the rest of the event!” With such a smooth transition, you can keep things professional without generating any awkwardness.

Tip 5: Setting Realistic Expectations

Young lawyers oftentimes feel that they can maximize their chances of getting business by vacuuming up as many business cards as possible. But, as you know, those business cards have nothing to do with getting you business.

You can create many more opportunities at networking events (and reduce your internal pressure) by simply recognizing that your goal should be engaging in enjoyable conversations so that (i) you can be memorable to your discussion partners and (ii) you will find it easier to follow up with them after the events.

Learn More

If you would like some more tips on how to make networking more comfortable, join us for our next course on Natural Networking.